SOME POSITIVE NEWS FROM THE EASTERN FRONT

From my reliable source, I've received news of some defectors leaving the Jihadist Galaxy

Ibn Al Panzh : previously driving suicide tanks but being unable now to get inside them due too large a girdle
                     (too many cheeseburgers, french fries and beers...)

Abu La Boulle: Voice is that he preferred playing la Pétanque in the south of France. Said to have been
                        located in Ramatuelle but no confirmation up to this moment.

Mortahd-El Kader: Sources say he is now nearby Bologna (Italy) feasting on one of their regional                                               delicatessen: the Mortadella and planning to taste this specialty all over the various food
                              festivals opening in the Summer...

Ali Al Nurse: either he has a crisis of conscience or he has become a gerontophile. He's now a nurse in a
                     Third-Age Nursing Home. Very suspicious, if you ask me.

Arrashi Rurgien: Tchetchen fighter now turned into a surgeon specializing in mending victims of bomb                                       damages

Abu Al Khurt: was a great asset to IS but since he lost both legs in a suicide bomb attempt, he's now too                               short to be fully operative

Ibn Al Grill: expelled from IS when caught grilling some juicy pork chops. Now in some seaside resort happy                          to cook and getting money.

More news from our super-hyper secret source asap.

LATEST HOT NEWS FROM THE JIHAIDIST FRONT

New recruits:

Ahmed Ben Kanif: His favourite weapon is his Swiss Wenger Multipurpose Knife. Particularly the bottle opener! He's not very happy about the length of the blade tool though. Nothing is perfect!

Abu Sayed Al Kafè: enrolled some months ago but not yet found for next embarkment to Syria although all brasseries and coffee shops in his area have been extensively seached.

Mohammed Al Kalin: This recruit seems to have lost his way to the Jihad as he loves being pampered and spoiled. Daech Headquarters are still confident they can reform him to become one of their best fighters but...

More news in coming messages.

MORE NEWS ABOUT THE GALAXY OF JIHAIDISTS...

Sayed Al Depressif (has been for some time under psychiatric care and is now obviously ripe for next suicide           action)
Abu Al Brillantin: missed his foreseen last attempt as he was looking at how cute he seemed in his                           hairdresser's mirror.
Abu Dsufle: lost his rendez-vous with terror as he was enjoying Godard's masterpiece in a cine-club theatre.
Bilal El Chanel: bling bling jihaidist
Omar Abu Tir: posing as an International transporter
Ibn Khalif Ourmi: he has an alias as Teacher of Entomology (particularly with ants)

Further news will be released as they come in!

MORE NEWS ABOUT THE GALAXY OF JIHAIDISTS...

Sayed Al Depressif (has been for some time under psychiatric care and is now obviously ripe for next suicide           action)
Abu Al Brillantin: missed his foreseen last attempt as he was looking at how cute he looked in his                           hairdresser's mirror.
Abu Dsufle: lost his rendez-vous with terror as he was enjoying Godard's masterpiece in a cine-club theatre.

Further news will be released as they come in!

FURTHER HOT NEWS ABOUT THE ABOMINABLE CENTRE OF TERRORISTS RECRUITS

We've come to learn about more of these aweful individuals:

Abu Makaron : foreign fighter coming from Italian inland exactly as
Ali Sayef El Spaghetti (probably from same village)
Abu Allah Fayette: keen on high-range shopping
Abu Fluor: he seems to be posing as a dentist
Abu Yabess: said to live in Marseille

Further news later on.

A FRENCH FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME THAT...

..he succeeded in infiltrating a muslim terrorist group.
He even named some of the components and told me he would give me more details in the future.
The components of such group (that is not really very effective as they realized they quite prefer to spend their afternoons in café terraces or body gyms rather than pursuing the virtual virgins in some kind of future paradise) have now a name.
Here they are:

Abu Sayef Al Moron (he's not really such a bright guy)
Ali Ridikul (spends most of his time in front of his mirror)
Ibn Submersif (tries to dive but can't swim..most unfortunate for him)
Ibn Al Pastis (loves the French Riviera cafés)
Hussein Bin Kretin (one of the less intelligent brothers in his family and - for this reason - ready to blow    
      himself up)
Abu Lik (not very sharp or active: the Brotherhood must work hard on him)

That's all for the moment but as soon as we'll have more information, we shall release it on this same channel.

IT'S TRUE! YOUR NEIGHBOUR COULD BE A JIHADIST...HOWEVER...

Although I despise any kind of religious fanaticism, I find that Daech (self-calling IS) is less  murderous than other causes:
Ask yourselves about the yearly victims of :

Death toll due to Muslim terrorism
Death toll due to Road Accidents
Death toll due to Air-carrier Accidents
Death toll due to Family feuds
Death toll due to Friendly Fire

You might be surprised by the results of your on-line investigation.

HOW CAN A MAN, A CREATOR KILL HIS BEST CHILD?

That's what Bill Gates is doing when he's closing down his XP programme.
I can but view this move as Ridley Scott's scene from Blade Runner with Rutger Hauer.