Monday, July 25, 2016

SOME POSITIVE NEWS FROM THE EASTERN FRONT

From my reliable source, I've received news of some defectors leaving the Jihadist Galaxy

Ibn Al Panzh : previously driving suicide tanks but being unable now to get inside them due too large a girdle
                     (too many cheeseburgers, french fries and beers...)

Abu La Boulle: Voice is that he preferred playing la Pétanque in the south of France. Said to have been
                        located in Ramatuelle but no confirmation up to this moment.

Mortahd-El Kader: Sources say he is now nearby Bologna (Italy) feasting on one of their regional                                               delicatessen: the Mortadella and planning to taste this specialty all over the various food
                              festivals opening in the Summer...

Ali Al Nurse: either he has a crisis of conscience or he has become a gerontophile. He's now a nurse in a
                     Third-Age Nursing Home. Very suspicious, if you ask me.

Arrashi Rurgien: Tchetchen fighter now turned into a surgeon specializing in mending victims of bomb                                       damages

Abu Al Khurt: was a great asset to IS but since he lost both legs in a suicide bomb attempt, he's now too                               short to be fully operative

Ibn Al Grill: expelled from IS when caught grilling some juicy pork chops. Now in some seaside resort happy                          to cook and getting money.

More news from our super-hyper secret source asap.

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